1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
A) '66 Ford Fairlane B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle C) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns an Arkansas house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
"Get Paid To Make People Laugh" (without being a comedian or a clown) by John Cantu Imagine getting paid to make people laugh... even if you can't tell a joke. It's perhaps the most fun way to earn an extra $700 to $7,000 a month ever created. And, you can do it part time -- at your convenience -- or full time. It's completely up to you. How? Humor coach and former owner of the legendary San Francisco comedy club, the Holy City Zoo, John Cantu was interviewed to uncover the never-before-revealed -- and fail-safe -- approaches he has used with his clients over the past 30 years. This ebook is packed with practical, easy-to-implement, and often surprising information. For example, it makes absolutely no difference how young, old, tall, short, funny, attractive, educated or shy you may be. And, no specialized skills are required. You don't even need to be good at telling jokes. Cantu says: "If you are able to talk to other people, you can succeed at earning money with humor!" Best of all, Cantu shows you exactly how in this entertaining and to-the-point ebook. It is filled with ingenious, easy to use, no-fail ideas, techniques and methods... guaranteed to work for you. CLICK HERE!
"The Fun Factor: 10 Ways You Can Be Happier... Right Now!" by Clifford Kuhn "You’re in for an unusual treat, a treat that is only exceeded by the treat I’m getting writing the foreword to this wonderful book by my friend, Cliff Kuhn. When I received the manuscript I couldn’t wait to read it, and read it I did, twice. And I’m proud to be a small part of what I believe is one of the best “how to” books I have ever read. The “how to” aspect comes from one of the most prolific men of medicine I have ever known. As well as being an expert about laughter and the healing power it can bring, Cliff Kuhn brings us into the broader world of humor that has been either verboten or laid back so far that no one has recognized it. It needed someone like Cliff to breathe some air into it for all to see and understand." CLICK HERE!
The Big Book of Irish Jokes
Billy and Pa' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying, "Tree Fellers wanted".
Billy said, "Ye know Pa', it's a shame paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job".
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A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop.
He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?".
The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol."
So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?"
And the attendant responds "Sorry, but no oil either."
The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that.
The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant, "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?"
The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front."
The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires!"
This 26 page ebook contains 75 of the best Irish jokes you'll find anywhere. You'll laugh so hard you'll blow Guinness out your nose. CLICK HERE!
